Giving Her The Benefit Of Doubt

During the short CNY holiday, I bought new water tumblers for the girls. I change their water tumblers once every 2 months or whenever I see too many scratches or stains on the bottle. When I bought them, Alycia and Sherilyn were not together with me. They were at the book store with their daddy. I had chosen pink ones for Sherilyn and Baby and a blue one for Alycia. I know Alycia hates pink.  She loves blue, so I chose a blue one for her BUT I made a mistake. Albeit the tumbler had a blue cap and blue pictures, the pictures were that of some cute smiley giraffes on it! When I was choosing the water tumbler, it did cross my mind that Alycia would not like motif of cute animals printed on her tumbler but I bought it anyway as I was in a hurry. She dislikes anything that is too babyish looking. Yep cute giraffes are more for babies and toddlers, aren’t they?

When she saw the new blue tumbler with cute giraffes on it, she gave me a “yucks, I hate it!” look! But I forced her to use it. I knew what was on her mind. She was imagining that she would draw stares and queries from her friends (esp. boys) on why she was using a cute tumbler meant for babies. It would be very obvious as she removes her tumbler from her school bag and holds it whilst in the van, to and fro school. Barely a week after using it, this girl who has a good track record of keeping things and seldom looses things told me one day after school that she had lost the tumbler! When she announced her lost, I could as if read what’s in her head… that she had deliberately misplaced it so that she did not have to use it anymore! LIE, she told me a white lie so that she does not have to hold the tumbler with cute giraffes on it ever again! But I did not reprimand her knowing how super sensitive she is. I asked her jokingly if she had purposely lost it and she let out a defensive “NO” with a chuckle. Nah, I knew she was lying but then again, I told her that I would give her a benefit of doubt but in my heart, I knew she had deliberately misplaced it. A mother almost always knows best what’s on her daughter’s mind!

Lesson learned for me. In future if I have to get Alycia another tumbler or just about other stuff, I better bring her along with me and let her have the call.



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4 thoughts on “Giving Her The Benefit Of Doubt

  1. If me, I’d have exposed the lie, because my message to my kids is “no lying!” even if you don’t like something, be thankful for it, because there are many kids who don’t get new water tumblers every 2 months, or let alone every year! So what if it’s cute pictures? Fact is she’s blessed, and her mother bought if for her out of love. If lying and getting away with this, then she can do it again. Sorry, I’d have taken a different route with a lying child.

  2. Irene, I’d have exposed her if I caught her lying red-handed. If I ever catch my kids lying because of money, cheating in tests or more serious matters, I’d have exposed and embarass them outright so that this will deter them from doing again. For this case, I close 1 eye, out of the name of doubt.

  3. I agree with what Irene said above. If i caught mine lying, i would expose her but not scold or yell. Perhaps use a reverse psychology method to let her know that what she did is wrong and she should be thankful that she has a tumbler to use. Gosh, it’s hard to be a parent eh?

  4. Alycia is growing up lah 🙂

    Ya, I wouldn’t scold her either but reason it out with her. The more you scold her, I think that you’ll push her further away from you.

    Cherish and nurture this important period between the pre-teen and teenager years, ok? Trust me, ok, I was a rebellious teen and I’ve also taught a lot of teenagers 😉

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