Never-ending List of Worries

Yesterday was the first day that Alycia had to stay back after school for compulsory extra curricular activities. Ever since the incident last year where the van driver left her out in school and told me that she did not know where she was upon reaching our condo (GOSH, I almost fainted!!), I have this paranoia all the time that the same thing will happen again. Whenever the van arrives late at our condo after school, my mind begins to stray and all sorts of negative thoughts would play tricks on me in my mind. I have been praying to God everyday to bring Alycia and Sherilyn safely to school and to bring them home safely to me everyday.

I have enrolled Alycia and Sherilyn for UCMAS (Mental Arithmetic) class conducted after school and the first class will begin today. Alycia has been very unreceptive over my steadfast decision in sending her to UCMAS class. She gives me all sorts of lame excuses to avoid attending the class, like she does not know which class the lesson will be held at, she does not want to climb the stairs to the 3rd floor to attend lesson, she does not like Math and a whole load of other unreasonable excuses. Whenever I raise the subject of UCMAS, she will whine and be teary eyed and beg me not to enroll her for it. Yep, this girl is super sensitive and tears easily. I know she feels very insecure and probably frightened of her own unfounded fears. Blame it on the Calligraphy teacher who instilled fear in her 2 years ago (the teacher threatened the Year 1 pupils that if they did not write nicely, they did not have to attend class anymore and said some harsh words to the pupils to scare the sh*t out of them). She had just turned 6YO then and being a December child, had to enter into Std 1. What an outright wrong way for the teacher to teach, which back-fired. I had blogged about this 2 years ago.

Though Alycia is already in Std. 3, I still worry a lot about her whenever she is in school. My worry includes Sherilyn who is a very curious, daring and fearless 7YO. I worry that she will get herself into some major trouble because of her boldness, rashness and naive ness. Baby is another child whom I worry a lot. She is now safe at home and I am not ready just yet to ‘release her’ because of what she had gone through as a baby. She still has a slight post-op issue with her urinary tract (which is the reason why I am delaying pre school for her), which I hope time will heal it (says the surgeon). I know my worries are only the small tip of the ice berg and there are way more for me to deal with when they are in their teens. It does not help that I am a chronic worrier who worries unnecessarily over every little thing.

As I am typing this post, my eyes keep glancing at the clock on my desk. I am counting down every minute to my girls’ return from school. This will be my routine for many, many years to come until they leave their nest.

Feeling soppy now and shall step down from the soap box..


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12 thoughts on “Never-ending List of Worries

  1. My Vic is so different from your Alycia coz even threats like the calligraphy teacher will not work on her… she’s pretty cool about everything, and strong minded in her own way. Oh well, if Alycia is ok in her maths, then let her be… or tell her she’s no choice, she can whine a hundred times and she still have to attend classes! That’s what I say sometimes and my kids know I mean business.

    Don’t worry so much, I know we mothers worry… I do too, but most of the times, we do what we can and leave the rest to God.

    Take care.

  2. Sheoh Yan, tks!

    Irene, that’s exactly what I told Alycia — that no matter how she begs me, she will have no choice but to attend the UCMAS class. I told her that she will hv me to thank in her heart one day! She has slowly accepted my decision now 🙂

  3. same here .. when we choose to be a parent, there comes the worry list… the list gets longer and longer …
    Since now that the girl is taking school bus, my grey hair starts to come out more …

  4. Dear Shireen,

    I am an avid reader of your blog but have yet to leave a comment in any of your posts.

    However, this post is close to my heart because I was enrolled in a UCMAS class when I was around 7 or 8 years old and I hated the class like crazy. My mom thought it would improve my maths and forced me to continue with the classes. On the contrary, I started to hate math and up until today, I can’t calculate simple mathematics (addition/subtraction) without using a calculator. 🙁

    I think the my natural ability of calculating in my head was replaced by my not-so-good mental arithmetic techniques. Which by the way, I have totally forgotten by now.

    I think you should really reconsider sending Alycia to UCMAS if she really hates it because it will cause her to hate math instead in the end… But it’s just my 2 cents. =)

  5. Chin Nee, getting old and haggard by the day from all the stress and worries 🙁

    Fern, tks for sharing yr past experience here 🙂 Yesterday both my girls came bk fr school very happy and they looked pretty pleased with the UCMAS class. I shall see how it goes. If there’s improvement in their Math marks, I shall continue, otherwise, will stop.

  6. glad the girls are enjoying mental maths. mine is starting to whine and give excuses when it comes to doing mental maths homework because it’s getting tougher for her. actually i don’t really know how it would help her for now…but hopefully what she learned will be handy for her when she’s older. needs a lot of practice to be able to remember what she has studied. she didn’t do much during the cny holidays and she forgot the method for multiplication 🙁

  7. agree that a mother’s worry never ends. i’m surprise alycia is so sensitive, my RL is also like this. she will give me the crankiest face or end up crying if she doesnt want to do something but i’m always the momster making her do it no matter what. i guess as long as we see the improvement in them or analyze the situation before we give in to them.

  8. ya… a mother will never stop worrying for her kids irrespective how old they are. I worry everyday for my 17 years old girl.. I worry from the time she steps onto her school bus to the time I hear from her when she gets home. Sigh.. it’s nature I suppose.

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