FollowOf my three daughters, I am closest to my youngest. Perhaps it is because of everything we have gone through together since the day she was born.
Because of her health issues, I was fiercely protective of her. I breastfed her until she was over three years old, and much of my life revolved around keeping her healthy. Back then, she suffered frequent urinary tract infections (UTIs), and my mission was simple: prevent another infection, protect her kidneys, and keep her safe from further damage.
As a result, she was sheltered and shielded far more than her sisters.
There were advantages to that, but there were drawbacks too.
When she reached puberty, she began to rebel. She wanted freedom. She wanted to do the things that “normal” girls could do without a worried mother hovering nearby. We clashed often. We travelled through some very rough terrain together as mother and daughter.
There were arguments. There were tears. There were moments neither of us is proud of. Yes, I hit her, and she pushed me back. There was even a period when we genuinely disliked each other. We seemed to be constantly at war.
But those difficult years are behind us now.
Today, we are back to being best friends again—no longer frenemies.
When she was younger, she used to call me her twin because we were so close. Eventually, I had to learn one of the hardest lessons of motherhood: letting go. I had to trust that I had done my best, pray for her safety and good health, and allow her to spread her wings and explore the world on her own terms.
Even now that we live apart, I still check in on her every day.
As I look back, some of my favourite memories are the little things.
We used to write sweet notes to each other. I would tuck handwritten messages into her lunch box. She would leave cute thank-you notes for the meals I cooked. Out of my three daughters, she was probably my biggest cheerleader in the kitchen. Every new recipe I made was enthusiastically sampled and reviewed by her with 5 stars.
When I was physically exhausted and mentally drained from juggling work, family, and caregiving, she would create little coupon booklets for me. They included free massages and discounted massages—her version of a professional loyalty programme 😅
And honestly, her massages were surprisingly good.
I was forever begging her to massage my aching shoulders, neck, and head. She would usually agree—provided I let her play with my phone afterwards — 30 mins of massage = 30 mins of phone playing 😅. Looking back now, those simple bargains between mother and daughter feel priceless.
Raising three girls was not easy. There were days when I was overwhelmed, exhausted, sleep-deprived, and functioning like a zombie. At the time, I often wondered how I would survive it all.
Yet when I think back on those years today, what I remember most are not the sleepless nights or the worries.
I remember the notes.
I remember the laughter.
I remember the little massage coupons.
I remember the little girl who followed me everywhere.
Sometimes I miss my girls when they were younger. I miss those crazy, hectic, chaotic years more than I ever thought I would.
Funny how the days that felt the longest somehow become the memories we cherish the most.
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| Free massage coupon booklets that Cass used to give me lol |
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| Cass filing my feet |
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| This was a regular scene at my work table – Cass sitting next to me, doing her homework. |
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| Cass’s school (KC2) organized this feet washing event to honor mothers on Mother’s Day. She was about 10. |
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| Cass helping me to hang the laundry after my surgery in 2017. |
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| My reminder note to Cass for her to bring back her lunch box and utensil. |
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| Lunch for Cass & Sherilyn every Wednesday when they stayed back for CoCo. I would drop off the food in school. |
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| Cass’s love note to me, when she was about 7. |
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