It Takes A Village To Raise A Child

It’s been two weeks since my littlest one woke up and got disconnected from me and angry with me with no particular reason on the first day of school after the third term school holidays. Thank God she’s almost back to her usual self, though I wouldn’t say that her usual self was how she used to be.  I still haven’t accepted the fact that my baby girl is now growing up and she’s no longer a baby; she doesn’t want to be treated like one and I have to treat her like a big girl.  It’s been one hell of a difficult two weeks, having to deal with her cantankerous and grouchy behavior and non-verbal communication with me.  💔 But I just knew that it would soon pass and yes it did.

I used to have a very hard time dealing with Sherilyn too when she was at that age. This is just part of growing up. Growing pains for both the child and parent.  But I finally see her smile and talk to me again.🧡

Some disrespect is a normal part of teenage growth and development, though not all tweens and teenagers are rude or disrespectful.  This is partly because our child is learning to express and test out her own independent ideas, so there will be times when you disagree. Developing independence is a key part of growing up and a good sign that she’s trying to take more responsibility. But she’s also still learning about how to handle disagreement and differing opinions appropriately.

A teenage’s moods can change quickly. Because of how teenage brains develop, our child isn’t always able to handle her changing feelings and reactions to everyday or unexpected things. And this can sometimes lead to over-sensitivity, which can lead in turn to grumpiness or rudeness.  So I just have to accept all the crap of black sullen face, rudeness and disrespect from Cass as part of her growing up.

Over the past one week, this tween of mine seemed to be a tad scattered brain.  On Monday, she had a hard time waking up and woke up 5 minutes late; her transporter left our condo. I had to bring Cass to a half-way meetup point for her to get up the van. The next day, she lost her new eye glasses in school. The following day, she lost her mechanical pencil in school. Other days, she forgot to ask me for pocket money and forgot to eat the bun that I’ve packed for her in her lunch box. She felt bad over losing her glasses and all the inconveniences that she’s caused me with her lackadaisical attitude.  She’s been searching for her glasses in school for the past two days and she finally found it today!  It’s inside a glass display outside the office and she needs to see the assistant principal to claim it back next week.

Sherilyn told me that Cass could be influenced by the character of Elizabeth Allen of The Naughtiest Girl (by Enid Blyton) as this is one the latest books that she’s been reading.  Perhaps?  Cass used to be so obsessed with Harry Potter that almost everything that she said had a little bit of Harry Potter influence in it and she’s still very much obsessed with Harry Potter. She’s still very much influenced by Enid Blyton’s tea time, heavy supper, casserole and pumpkin pasties and often asks me for these English things  😆

I can’t agree more with the African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child”. In my case, it’s more of taking half my life to raise three children. Why is it so hard to raise children? I must equip myself with more parenting strategies to bust away bad attitude and bring lasting closeness and understanding with my girls.

Something that I learned from parenting sites:

Teenage girls are developing their identity and opinions. And part of that is disagreeing with and pushing back against what they perceive as parental control. Difficult teenage daughters aren’t being difficult out of spite. Rather, they are acting under the influence of intense biological shifts. 

Practice unconditional love. Therefore, parents should never withdraw or withhold their love based on a difficult behavior. Teen girls need to know that their parents will be there for them no matter what.

Thus, despite all that’s been going on, I still tell Cass – I love you, take good care and God bless you on most mornings before she gets into the school van.


Something that I cooked on a busy weekday this week – fried meehoon with homemade fish balls, cabbage, carrots, loads of scallions and garlic and spring onions from the pot on my balcony.  I roped in Cass to roll the fish balls and blanch them and she enjoyed the cooking session with me very much as she got to pop the fish balls into her mouth before her sisters did ❤️


A song for all parents to their precious little ones by Michael Bublé – Forever Now

 

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